discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
