Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
