Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
