I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize