Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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