that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
