her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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