Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize