That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
