My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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