do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
