He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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