she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
