i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
