True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
