Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Four minutes until I can fart!
No subtext here. People are naked.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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