Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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