I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish you could order shots online.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
