I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Boobs speak an international language.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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