I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
