You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize