Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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