All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
