Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
how drunk are you?
Several
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
