but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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