garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
