these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
