Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
