I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
