Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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