Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
