He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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