Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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