Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
