I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
