My nipple is on Facebook.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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