I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Success! We fucked roommates!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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