so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
