WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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