I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
