broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
