How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
