Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
