you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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