She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
