dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
