this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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