At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if only i could text you this smell
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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