Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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