yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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