you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
