Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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