If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize