"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
