Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
