Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
