So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
