I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Come on in and take your pants off
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