My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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