Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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