I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize