i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
