he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
