I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
