dude i'm inner monologue high
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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