So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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